Comic Review: The Amazing Spider-Man 692- 694

Greetings all! Richard Wilson III here with a review! After a brief hiatus from reviewing (Okay, maybe a few months is pushing it), I've decided to review what I consider to be one of the most disappointing stories in the history of the Amazing Spider-Man. Since Marvel's canceling the title at issue 700 and replacing it with the "Superior Spider-Man" (Trust me, I'm going to rant about that too), I feel it to be necessary as a Spider-Man fan to offer my opinion on the last stretch of one of my favorite comic book titles in existence.

Amazing Spider-Man 692
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Humberto Ramos

Plot: Midtown High School teen Andy Maguire (see what they did there?) feels shunned by his high school community and family, all while being moody and mopey. Horizon Labs (Peter Parker's current place of employment) decides to host a field trip, with the main feature being Peter Parker's latest discovery of the "Parker Particle" (God, such a narcissist! Wait Hank Pym did it first with the "Pym Particle"!? Never mind...), which malfunctions due to a disgruntled worker turning off the safety devices! Andy "heroically" pushes a fellow student out of the line of one of the energy discharges and gets zapped himself! The machine overloads and collapses about to crush the teens, but Andy catches it and tosses it away! A short time later, Max Modell, his lawyer, Peter and Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four/Future Foundation all meet with Andy's parents and their lawyer, and to put a long story short, they all agree to whore out Andy as Alpha to make lots of money and for Spider-Man to train him as a hero! Oh, and Andy is an "Alpha level threat", greater than the Phoenix Force, the Sentry, and the Hulk COMBINED (Excuse me as a barf something foul in a bag)! Weird fights ensue and the Jackal gets involved... Yay...

Opinion: God I wanted to like this. I really did. When they announced that Spider-Man was getting a sidekick, I had a neutral opinion, and only hoped that it go well. Needless to say, Alpha is a failure. First off,

I didn't buy Alpha as a teenager. I didn't buy the key reason for his EXISTENCE! Dan Slott's characterization of a teen seemed more in line with old WB/CW TV dramas: angsty and without any likability. I generally like Dan Slott's characterizations and plot ideas, but this one fell flat. I need to be honest, if Alpha really was this huge threat, WHY THE HELL WAS HE GIVEN TO SPIDER-MAN!? I understand that he accidentally created him, but if he had the potential to destroy reality as they know it, I think he would've been better suited being taken by the Avengers and placed in their Academy to be monitored and  trained, while they could've had Peter and Reed Richards (Who apparently discovered "Parker Particles" YEARS before Peter) trying to depower him, limit his abilities or something like that. But no, Alpha was given to one of the most renowned street level superheroes this side of Daredevil. With two more issues to review, I'll leave it at that.

1.5 out of 5




Amazing Spider-Man 693

Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Humberto Ramos

Plot: I'll keep this one short: Alpha's a douche, Jackal kidnaps him, tries to clone him and fails. Spider-Man pisses his pants at how frightening Alpha's powers are...

Opinion: There is no hope for this. Issue 692 failed to make me like or sympathize with Andy Maguire's Alpha. This issue made me pray that he died at the end of the arc. He's a freaking douche. He made the Jersey Shore cast look classy, and that's saying something! And Peter... my God what happened!? It's bad enough he's been regulated to a background character in his own title (The cover of the issue says it all), but he essentially took a dump in his pants when Alpha "explodes" and he see's his "destructive potential"... I'VE SEEN A BARKING DOG MORE MENACING THAN THAT! We're talking about Peter Parker, who fought the omnipotent Beyonder on Battleworld, fought against an Infinity Gauntlet wielding Thanos, saw the Sentry almost rip apart the world, and kept composure then, but the moment a teen throws a temper tantrum, he shits his pants. I call severe bullshit at that

0 out of 5

Amazing Spider-Man 694 
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Humberto Ramos

Plot: Spider-Man and Alpha don't fight, Spider-Man fights a plane and the laws of physics, a Deus Ex Machina depowers Alpha and I hope it stays that way

Opinion: First off, the cover is a lie. Not like the cake from Portal, that exists but you never actually get, but like it doesn't happen. AT ALL. This cover is a spoof of the now famous Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man. In that issue, Superman and Spidey fight for a bit; they team up, but they fight first. Alpha and Spidey never even gave each other a dirty look. An alien invasion threatens New York again (this came out a little bit after the Avengers film, it "had to happen"), and Alpha gets called into the fight, where Peter see's that the leader's, Terminus, Power Staff reflects Alpha's energy, and gives him an idea to use that as a base for his depowering for Alpha... a Deus Ex Machina at it's finest! As for Spider-Man vs. the Plane, it was a sequence I liked. He goes to save his Aunt May and Uncle Jay (Aunt May married J. Jonah Jameson's father in ASM 600, ironically used as the header for this segment!) from plummeting to death. May goes to call Peter, and he hears her probable last words in real time and directly in his headset hidden under his mask! In the end he wins by beating the Laws of Physics, and saving them both. Mayor JJJ even shows up to thank Spidey for saving his father! It ends with Alpha losing all his power, except for "...That little bit of power's in you. Always there and growing.", hinting that Alpha can return at some point... I can only pray that never happens, unless he comes back as a villain looking for revenge on Spider-Man for depowering him, because that has potential. All in all, this is a semi decent ending to a pretty poor story arc...

This issue gets a 2.5 out of 5, with 1.5 points coming from the Spider-Man in the airplane, and the other point coming from Alpha's depowering. In the end the story arc gets a 2 out of 5, with a so-so beginning, a terrible middle portion and a tolerable ending, regardless of the cover's blatant lie of "The Battle of the Half Century! The Amazing Spider-Man vs. Alpha!" and the Deus Ex Machina.

I'll return in a few weeks to cover the DANGER ZONE!

-Richard Wilson III